Grown Girl

It's late again, it always is. I won't bore you with time specifics today, but I will let you in on one thing (Okay, who am I kidding? Maybe a few more). One of the key reasons I keep finding myself deleting my previous is mostly because I feel like it's not a piece I'd be somewhat proud of owning, that or, I don't think it'd be appropriate for parents/bosses/workmates/classmates/whoever I have a moderate amount of contact with. Not because what I post is explicit, but more so, that it sounds like a personal attack towards them. When, reality is, I'm just in a state of frustration and kind of don't know what else to do with myself; it's not really directed towards anyone, but just a general rant about anything and everything. 

This was probably one of the main reasons I decided to give up blogging in high school. It started off as a harmless diary sorta thing: "I hate my advanced maths teachers blah blah, or why is life so unfair that my parents won't let me have a dog, and instead got me a human brother?" That kinda stupid thing. Then people found out, and it garnered much interest, as to who the subject was each time. I'd write quite ambiguously; not noting whether it was the rude red lipstick wearing, stiletto-clad, ugly designer dress wearing snob, sniggering at me from behind her equally disastrous sunglasses and cup of Starbucks, or the annoying girls who unconsciously felt the need to compete for everything at school.

By the time I was 15, and in eleventh grade, I decided to take a new direction with my blog. New domain, fresh start to the 14 year old bratty me. I travelled around quite a bit and my interest in fashion had fully taken off by then.. I think. So I decided to blog about something different after being inspired by the likes of Nicole Warne, Margaret Zhang, Rumi Neely, Amanda Shadforth, Sara Donaldson, Aimee Song and countless editorials. It should come to be no surprise that I wanted to blog my travels and growing style.

That path failed again, because being an asian full time high schooler in her senior years meant pressure to get into a good university. Which essentially equated to no time to edit and make quality posts. So yeah, little background story over. Where am I heading now? I don't know. Really, I don't. You might wanna watch this (something I made a little while back):

It sums up the hardest year of my life pretty well, and for now, I'm just cruising along. Satisfied, but nothing makes my heart skips a beat. Architecture seems to be the best fit for me right now, but after a visit to the ER, my interest in medicine was sparked once again. 

My somewhat newly diagnosed anxiety has found me unable to let go of anything, eating me up late at night and overanalysing everything. My memory is at it's peak 24/7, but these days I find myself being able to accept things as they are. I can let go of things within seconds some days, and others I will fight the urge to blow up in someone's face (premium retail *rolls eyes*). Which, in my personal opinion, is a huuuuggeee development from the person I was until a mere six months ago. 

I'm still pissed the the freaking 40-something year old cashier at Aldi, thinking her rudeness is acceptable in customer service, especially because I happen to be younger. Luckily, I have more patience these days or else, who knew what could've happened to her poor excuse of existence. I really need to voice my opinion in people with personalities like hers more often (and maybe rid any possibility of a physical threat). Oops, this whole post was just contradicted wasn't it? Well, I'm a paradigm wrapped in an oxymoron, smothered in a paradox. 

Y.

Back At It

It's 3:41am again, and I find myself still awake - doing things I maybe shouldn't be at this hour. In today's case, it's delving deeper into apartment friendly puppies (toy poodles, pugs, cavoodles, cocker spaniel and dachshunds are all currently on my radar), searching architectural internships, finding a likeable blog design (do you like it?) while waiting for the awesome design my boo designed (i'm so excited and can't wait to show you guys), and watching each and every single episode of Jimmy Kimmel's celeb's reading mean tweets (and trying not to wake my new housemate with my arbitrary peals of laughter). 

I been missing in action most of summer, and have good reason too. I've been trying to adult; I think I've just about got it! I've been settling down in my first permanent home away from (the family) home, working almost non-stop (come at me world); only taking a four day break to visit my family in January. I feel like I've talked about this before and just rambling by now. But, should I delete my previous posts and this the first you see of my entries, then no, no I'm not rambling. Heh.

Since we last talked; I uploaded my first proper youtube video, refined my style to an extent, been working 30 ish hours/week (unheard of in my books) and have been eating out an unhealthy number of times. Too much good food here, only so much free time to wander around. Oh, I also got netflix, which means you probably won't be seeing too much of me outside. 

I feel like there was a lot more I intended on disclosing here in this post, but it's pretty much 4am and I can't really think any more. All that's on my mind is how to arrange my uni timetable so I have a life, whether or not to get final cut pro that is now $500, and where I'm going for my mid-year holiday. Having not travelled internationally in almost a year, I'm consumed by wanderlust and have the strong urge to depart right now. But we both know that's not going to happen (screw you approaching semester and holidaying workmates). 

I could go on for hours, maybe in days of the places I want to go and things I want to do. I'll do you a favour and not bore you to death, but very big plans are in the making. A mini Asian tour in currently in the makes and I'm trying to convince Dad to take my brother and I to Europe instead of the US for our graduation trip next year. 

Well I think I should make my way to bed, because it's my first three days off in a row in what seems like a month, and I intend on making the most of it. Pancakes, exploring and shopping are all on tomorrow's itinerary. 

Y.

beginning of 179cm

Last November, at 16, literally fresh out of high school, I boarded a international flight alone for the first time in my life to spend four months in Beijing for schoolies (high school grads book out hotel rooms and drink) with family and exploring my hometown properly.

You know you won't be sleeping during the thirteen hours flight when you discover the person next to you is a loud snorer who doesn't know its inconsiderate to use the person next to him as a pillow. So I landed in Hong Kong for bleary eyed. Six hours meant too much time to kill in an airport terminal, and too little to attempt going to the mainland.

One hour was killed by sleeping (albeit uncomfortable), sprawling my long body across four or five seats (there was no one around ok). Managed to kill another two by hunting some food. Testing my macbook's capacities took another hour and the remaining two were went by with a impulse shopping spree, consisting mostly of Disneyland (and comparing HK prices to Australian prices in duty free). Another four hours on a plane found me in Beijing; coldest night of the year so far. I went directly from the blazing heat of Australia into the frost of winter, my body was not happy to say the least. 

The first few days were spent adjusting to polluted air and settling back into my great grandmother's humble abode, feeling great to be home and slightly awkward that there was a maid (i could totally get used to having someone cook and clean for me). But nothing prepared me for the onslaught of Chinese lessons from a tutor (courtesy of le papa) who constantly nitpicked at my work like a famished crow. That was no fun. At all. Really.

Shopping for clothes was always interesting (oh, how is she so BIG?! they'd "whisper"). I also visited or was visited by family members near and slightly further. Altogether, I was sick three times during my stay; two of which were in the first three weeks. Enough of my blab, here are some photos from the first few days.

the walls and corridors of most apartments are appalling; permanent advertisements everywhere. 

first day meal: fried fish thrown in boiling sauce.

warm looking weather; bitter reality.

custard cream flavoured popcorn

the view from my 32nd floor room, can you see the pollution?

some restaurant's lighting.

something you must try in beijing, candied crabapples. just try find indoor vendors if you're a hygiene freak like i am.