hello, its me.

Ok, ok. How many times now have a said I will write on a regular basis? Too many that I can't even count with all my phalanges- yes that means more than 20.... i think. Do I even think anymore? idk man. Lately, it seems as though my heart ate my brain and took its place as the dictator of my body.... that's weird. I'm weird. Hi. 

It's already the middle of November, which means the end of a year is dawning upon us yet again and it's exactly my second year out of high school and I've completed two years of university. The last few years have always been crazy, by this time of year I'd normally be preparing to fly to Beijing and spend the summer (winter to the other side of the world) there and so, I haven't really felt the sun in awhile. I should probably fill you in on where I've been the past year and a bit right? It's only polite.

Well... for starters in 2014, I went blonde, received a scholarship in Beijing, turned 18, dealt with some villains (more on that later), quit my Business and Arts dual degree and accepted a offer to study architecture at the University of Melbourne and moved out of the family home literally the same day I got back from Beijing in March this year. 2000 km away in fact, I'm no longer in Brisbane. I've left almost everything and everyone I've known for almost eight years of my life behind, and started a journey alone. Starting out in a city where you have little friends and no family is hard, not going to lie. 

Nothing prepared me for the exhaustion and the depression I would feel in the first half of the year. Going into architecture with no experience in the skills it needed and my own need for "perfection" required me to work so much harder than everyone else, and thus I got little sleep, and even less time to socialise. The house my dad wanted me to live in turned out to be one of the worst decisions ever. The owner and the housemates just gave me hell. Theft, taking advantage of me, dirtiness were just somethings that happened. If you are making decisions like this, just make sure you're happy with your choices and not just following with what someone else thinks. 

I remember being tossed out of the comfort blanket I was always wrapped firmly with, I totally fell off the wagon, to the point where I sometimes found myself awkward when talking to someone longer than five minutes and get tired when I go out longer than an hour. I lost interest in most things and found many things not up to standard. Drastic change from who I was last year. I kept reminding myself that I chose this path, so loneliness and sleepless nights are inevitable and come packaged. I just felt so lost and confused. It wasn't the same lost I felt a year ago as a 17 year old, not knowing what or where I wanted to go. That time it was more of an emotional lost, just feeling really disconnected and distant from everyone and thing. I felt really burnt out from the intensive first semester amongst personal things.

As soon as I could, I got out of there, and I must say I'm so much happier now and good things have happened to me this half of the year. I think I've really matured and experienced what being an adult is being 18 and blonde. Before I turn 19 I kinda want to go a different colour now, just so I can move on from the hardships and growth I experienced as a blonde. But can I really afford to lose anymore brain cells? I feel like the bleach has gotten to my brain :P

Seeya soon! I'm going to make a promise here that I put something up every week, unless I have inevitable commitments- then maybe once every fortnight. 

Y